Sometimes, we all just want to get back what we duly deserve.

Yes, my role may not have been the toughest, but I still did went through that month, I still did step foot on a foreign land. I did what around 20 other of my peers did not go through.

I think I’ve stepped up well enough times already.

I was part of the minority that finished the first bilateral exercise at the back-end of last year, of which gave everyone, even those who did not participate in it at all, benefits.

I was part of a larger minority that accomplished another bilateral exercise, on a foreign land this time around. During that month, I amazed myself, I sympathized with others, I saw much more than I could have seen had I not agreed to go. I saw how lucky I was to be playing a different role compared to most of the rest, how much less tough my job was. But in a way, we struggled through it together.

I got some of my benefits dues given back, not all of it, yet even during that short break to recover from it all, it was disrupted, twice. One of which I volunteered for, the other, of which even if I did eventually saw I was required, I was crying foul.

Then I still participated with the rest in the all-important turn-ops exercise. I couldn’t escape that, even though I thought my dues would be returned during that period. No, it wasn’t; and yet I didn’t complain.

Now, I have to be part of this exhibition. The only problem, I still haven’t got back my dues. I’m still owed a substantial amount of it. And I’m wondering, when can I get it back?

If I am made to do the part II of this exhibition the following week, I’d have no time for my dues to be paid back, a break of sorts for me, and I go into the next exercise still owed it.

So my question here is, will I get it back soon? Or do I have to wait until everyone gets benefits during the same time I get my dues back? Meaning, I would not enjoy those benefits they are getting, as it overlaps. Already, for that month-long bilateral exercise, they got benefits they did not deserve, and one substantial aspect of those benefits overlapped with the part-compensation of my dues. Yet, I did not moan, I did not complain, I was alright with that, just so long I would get back the rest of my dues soon enough. It did not happen, and I’m going to start crying foul very soon.

And to think, some of my peers are crying out loud for more benefits, for “dues”, could you imagine, they don’t fucking deserve at all; when I haven’t even got that long break I was promised, when my dues are not returned yet.

Now to do this other thing. I think I’m so unlucky to be in a state where my duties are actually doubled then most others. Maybe it was a curse in disguise back then last September.

Now, where’s that lemonade I just made?

 

when things go wrong, we just go on…

Here’s a small piece from my friend’s blog that couldn’t have placed my thoughts any better.

1. Are we terrex cleaners? Why do we have to wash other platoon’s vehicles, and then watching them having nights off? Have we not decentralised? Why aren’t the rifle companies helping them(wait, why aren’t they even helping themselves with washing?), and then who’s going to help with our terrexes, CO? OC? CSM? RSM? MEDICs? FSOs? SCOUTs?

2. Are we storemen? Shifting of stores, accounting for stores, preparing of stores, … I don’t mind doing it, but why aren’t the rest doing it as well?

3. Are we the only few lowload trained? Why are we always doing port operations, lowloading, canvassing of terrexes?

4. Are we RPs? Why are we always the only 2 platoons doing guard duty for the last 3 months? 2 platoons, with a max of 45 soldiers doing guard duty for 3 months, then I guess till we ORD, there won’t be any more guard duties already, right?

5. Are we display platoon? Isn’t there a platoon specially catered for display purposes? Why haven’t they do any display then?

Contradicting.

Where is justice? There isn’t any in the army.

Yup, life sucks now.

So, Liverpool’s season effectively ended last night, in defeat. After spending £100m on British talent, it is evident, this Kenny Dalglish experiment has failed, badly. Even without looking at the 30+ times the woodwork has contrived to keep Liverpool out, the FA Cup final just epitomized Liverpool’s season nicely, both halves told the season’s story on the whole. In the first half, they were slow out of the blocks, probably due to Dalglish’s tactics, sitting back and playing too deep, while still somehow giving the likes of Juan Mata and Didier Drogba space in front of Liverpool’s back four. Then in the second half, as Liverpool suddenly woke up after going two down, they were not good enough in front of goal, with sub Andy Carroll’s brilliant footwork and strike past Petr Cech followed up with a misplaced header that should not have given Cech a chance anyway. Liverpool did not deserve to take it to extra-time, does Dalglish deserve extra time, I wonder? For one, one more season is a given, his last chance to prove he can sign well in the summer and get the team to gel, and to score.

A goal haul of above 40 goals is just not good enough. £58m worth of strikers bought last year in the form of Carroll and Luis Suarez surely has to contribute more than their combined 15 strikes in the league. Though Carroll has improved recently with a couple of winners, he has to take this form and further improve if he is to score more next season, lift some of the burden off Suarez and Stevie G, and give Liverpool any chance of reaching the top 4 next season. The only real positive of last summer’s “magnificent seven”, as the seven new recruits were somehow acclaimed, is Craig Bellamy. The irony? He was free, and he has 6 goals and numerous assists, even as he has had to been used sparingly due to his age and crocked knees. Surely, Liverpool can’t simply rely on Bellamy for goals?

Looking further back, £32m duo Jordan Henderson and Stewart Downing just has not cut it. A single strike from Henderson, who, in all fairness has time and potential on his side, is not a good enough return from a midfielder. And Downing, no goals or assists in the league, two in the FA Cup, is just miserable for a winger whose supposed to be an England international, and at his age of 27, should be hitting his prime now. He somehow shows lack of pace, huge dependency on his left-back Jose Enrique for overlaps as he can’t seem to beat the right-back on a regular basis, and has a problem delivering a quality cross consistently. £9m Charlie Adam has been looking like a piece of wretched business too. At the start, he could save himself with a slew of long range passes that found his man. But after that it all just falls apart, what ever happened to his £10m corners as Sir Alex once drooled over? His corners and free-kicks, usually can’t beat the first man. How different could things have been if Lucas stayed injury free?

Back in defence. This has been an enigma. For the first half of the season, Liverpool’s defence was their saving grace, looking solid and compact as a 5-men unit of Jose Reina, Glen Johnson, Martin Skrtel, Daniel Agger and Jose Enrique. A nice balance of attacking full-backs, hard-tackling centre-back and a ball-playing centre-half, with a reliant ball-sweeping ‘keeper. Then in the second half of the season it went sour. Shipping needless goals, especially the last-minute winner conceded to RVP, plus the fact Jose Reina keeps being beaten at his near-post, saw Liverpool lost their most reliable department. Maybe the loss of Lucas had something to do with that!

What Dalglish has to do next season? Sign well. Sign a good striker, that can score. Cue £9m Papiss Cisse or £6m Nikica Jelavic. Sign a couple of wingers that can actually give Carroll something to attack, and a goal-scoring midfielder. Cue someone like £16m Ashley Young, Fulham’s 22-goal midfielder Clint Dempsey, someone like £4m Yohan Cabaye. I really can’t get my head around the fact Matthew Etherington can get more assists than Downing. Plus the fact Dalglish had a choice over Mata and Downing, and then what happened next was a shocker. Imagine what 13 assists could have done for their league position.

Look at it this way, Stevie G ain’t going to be around forever.

Anyway, no excuses, whatsoever anymore.

have you ever wondered…

There’s this ongoing debate concerning NS again, a furore of some sort against this female netizen for some insensitive comments following the death of a fellow Singaporean soldier. I don’t think I want to add to the criticism leveled against this netizen, well, one because it’s her opinion, and everyone’s entitled to their own, and two, there’s not much point really; but I do want to give my own view about NS in general, in relation with our female counterparts, the ongoing perception we Singaporeans are not being taken care of as compared to foreign talent who do not serve NS at all.

First of all, I do not think it is fair for anyone to comment about us Singaporean males doing NS if they themselves did not have to do NS at all, and of course this is aimed towards our Singaporean females. What justification can one make to judge something, or someone, based on little or no evidence or experience about that certain topic, in which that person’s only education about that topic is via word of mouth? I, for one, is an advocate for both sexes doing NS, like how Israel does it. And by letting off the females these two years us males are deprived of, in order to defend this land while they journey off to their gap year or university fun, should they not be appreciative, let alone judge us and our two years’ of work? I can only think that many of us Singaporean males are angry with this particular netizen and her comments about NS is really because of the fact that the two years taken off our lives, to pay back for the years of peace and security we have enjoyed on this island, is seen as a laughing stock to someone who do not have to reciprocate for the same benefits she enjoys. I mean, face it, a Singaporean women’s only way of really serving her nation is to have babies, to aid in our declining birthrate. However, this is still their choice. They can choose to have babies, they can choose not to have, because of their careers and other reasons they tend to like to give. Main thing is, they have a choice, we don’t. They have a choice whether to suffer that 9 months per baby for their nation, or to  further climb the corporate ladder, two years ahead of their male peers. So since some of them say we are weak, can we turn back and say, since they do not want to do their National Service and have babies, they are selfish? Hence, to conclude this point for this argument, since we don’t judge females whether they want to be mothers or not, I guess it’s fair to say they shouldn’t judge us in relation to our NS.

Secondly, not as recent as this latest furore is the general grievances us Singaporean males have against those foreign talents/foreigners who come here and take jobs and school places without having the need to serve NS. Those that have foreign classmates when we were in secondary school or junior college would of course know that, after JC, they would get to go to university straight away, while we would have to wait two years to do so, hence they, like our local females, have a two year head start on us. Well, this is a situation that isn’t going to go away anytime soon, I must admit. However, there’s definitely ways to improve on this, to help us locals feel that all is still fair around here, even if it isn’t. To me, all these scholarships given to foreigners from secondary school level up should include at least a year’s worth of NS. Look at it this way, if the government is willing to spend so much money on them, at least make them pay back a year’s worth of their time, before they head to our local universities or make Singapore look like a stepping stone and leave for an overseas university. I mean for 4 years worth of scholarship (secondary school), or 2 years worth (junior college), or even 6 years worth (secondary school + junior college), is it too much to demand just a year back of their time? Just think, how much money is spent on those scholars, that could have been spent to fund the education of less fortunate kids, those of whom may actually have supreme untapped potential, but will always remained untapped without significant financial aid.

I’m sorry if I sound cynical for this post, but honestly, this is the most truth most know but some will not want to admit.

Being a NSF Men (non-commander), my life obviously revolves around one main idea, spending the least time inside as possible. That means, working towards having my weekends free, not getting into trouble that will cause myself to burn my weekends, and gaining as much offs as possible. How can anyone argue against that mentality? Does anyone really expect me, being just a mere pawn in this huge jigsaw puzzle, to be as dedicated and motivated as say, our NSF Commanders? Anyway, what I see and believe is that most of these NSF Commanders don’t really care at all, they just do it for the sake of preserving their rank, their status; only a small minority really do it because they want to, not because they feel obliged to.

So, my three main goals for my NS life, do they sound unreasonable? I don’t think so.

And so, if my Commanders, both NSF and regulars, can’t do their jobs in planning well, and planning ahead, why can’t they suffer like when say, we NSF Men screw up? So why do we NSF Men have to suffer through their lousy planning and mismanagement? These NSF Commanders are being paid at least twice of what we NSF Men are paid (though some show ability and attitude quite similar to some really unmotivated NSF Men, but that’s a story for another day), so would it be wrong for me to expect some level of leadership and man-management skills in them? Would it be wrong of me to be angry or agitated if their lack of decision making ability affected my well-deserved break (right after coming back from Thailand after a month – yes that’s 4 weekends overseas – there)? How is it my superiors can expect a level of consistency out of us, and yet we cannot expect this same level of leadership out of them?

I can’t really answer those questions, though.

I’m just a NSF Men.

come away with me…

So it’s been another week here in Thailand, probably the best word suited to how we most feel now is disillusioned. Most of us MSC here feel kinda under-appreciated. Even after preparing our vehicles, low loading and prepping, we still helped to unload the other coy’s rifles and equipment, yet we’re still said to have bee slacking. And then now as we have no clue what’s happening due to cock up planning, we’re blamed for faults we probably have no control over.

Probably another reason is the fact we’ve been here for quite some time now, 2 weeks to be exact, longer than anyone else, leaving later than them, having less R&R, yet they still treat us like lowly beings at the bottom end of the food chain. I’ll be super pissed if they under appreciate our ‘due compensations’.

Well other than that life’s still pretty bearable. Just can’t wait to get back. More days gone than days till the end, so that’s a positive. Can’t wait for the main body to leave, then at least we’d could be amongst ourselves.

So yeah, can’t wait till I update again next week, probably just a day before I do what I was really required to do here all along, then oh behold I’m back in sunny SG!

so tired about the way the world works…

It’s almost a week since I’ve touched down in Thailand. I am glad that I am able to manage and adapt to the conditions presented to me here decently well.
Comparing to unit life, the food here is definitely inferior thus far, in terms of portions, and taste, although both’s getting better; maybe ‘cos for the former I’m more or less getting used to the amounts. The accommodation is really basic, and the conditions like the mosquitos… Well let’s just say I’m probably just getting used to it, used to everything here. I can’t really complain much, being the guest. One thing I’m surprisingly ok about and maybe would hope for back in unit is the toilets here! First time I’m bathing open concept and it seems all cool and everything.
Since the full force is coming tomorrow, guess things are really going to heat up, and hopefully this will help time go by faster?
This experience so far in this first week has been good for me, a good gauge to see how much I can survive away from home, and say test my tolerance and adaptability.
Maybe the best part is how skinny I’ll be when I get back, or so I thought…